Monthly Archives: April 2009

Ashley Tisdale is Our Favorite Guilty Pleasure!

Ashley Tisdale is Our Favorite Guilty Pleasure!

Ashley Tisdale is over High School Musicals and onto her own soundtrack to her life. The 23-year-old’s new single “It’s Alright, It’s OK” hit radio last week with its belted chorus and “tell him off” type of vibe.

“It’s Alright, It’s OK” is the first single off Tisdale’s follow-up to 2007’s Headstrong titled Guilty Pleasure. There’s nothing too guilty about enjoying Tisdale’s new CD, which is available June 16th on Warner Brothers Records, simply because it shows her growth and is pure fun!

Co-writing several tracks herself, Guilty Pleasure offers solid power-pop songs appealing to her Disney audience like “Overrated” and “Delete You” while taking things up a notch with “Acting Out” and “Masquerade”, but still delivering ballads with “What If” and “Me Without You”.

“I’m growing up and this is music I would listen to,” Tisdale says. “On this record, I’m not catering to anyone other than to who I am as a person. I think all of these songs have a message and a story that anyone can relate to. I couldn’t sing them if I didn’t connect with them myself.”

A diverse group of writers and producers contributed to Guilty Pleasure such as Kara DioGuardi (Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood), Toby Gad (Beyoncé, Fergie), Billy Steinberg (Madonna), Emanuel Kiriakou (David Archuleta, Nick Lachey), and Swedish production team Twin (who co-wrote the Headstrong singles “Not Like That” and “Be Good To Me”).

“Acting Out” is the perfect track to lead off the 14-track album since it appears to be Ashley Tisdale’s anthem for Guilty Pleasure. In the song, Tisdale sings: “Let me out of this cage / I’m not gonna hold back / I’m gonna break these chains / I’m taking control now / Gonna give you something to talk about / It’s another side of me I’m acting out.”

Despite songs like “What If” and “Delete You” feeling a bit repetitive and annoying, Tisdale serves up a satisfyingly good pop album, which may even have people comparing her to the likes of Kelly Clarkson and Britney Spears. She still keeps things young and even represents her roots with Broadway undertones on songs like the heartfelt “How Do You Love Someone” and “Hair”, which gives Tisdale’s love interest permission to mess up her lovely locks.

“It’s Alright, It’s OK” is available for download now on itunes.com and look out for Guilty Pleasure going on-sale on June 16, 2009.

Check out these Top Tracks: “Acting Out”, “It’s Alright, It’s OK”, “Masquerade” and “Crank It Up”

Meet Van Atta High

Meet Van Atta High

Editor Sandy Lo sat down with StarShine’s first “Artist to Watch”, Van Atta High’s lead singer Steve Kellner and lead guitar player Stephen Jasko at Angels & Kings bar in New York City.  The Steves performed an acoustic set following our interview and blew the roof off the small space.  Several other performers went on before Van Atta High, but they might as well have been invisible.  The two of the five members of the band were the only ones the crowd paid any attention to.  With fun tracks like “Hush Baby” and “Shakin’ In My Shoes”, it’s hard not to take notice of these guys!

Sandy (StarShine Magazine): I’m here today with two members of Van Atta High. Steve Kellner and Stephen Jasko. How are you guys doing today?
Steve Kellner: Very good. Looking forward to playing tonight. It’s a very nice day in New York City for a change.

We’re at Angels & Kings which is Pete Wentz’s bar. Are you guys fans of Fall Out Boy?
Stephen Jasko: Yeah.
Steve Kellner: Of course. They’re  doing their thing and they’re doing it real well.

Have you ever been to a show of theirs?
Steve Kellner: A few times at Bamboozle and Warped Tour.

And you guys have actually played Bamboozle and Warped Tour. What was that experience like?
Stephen Jasko: Bamboozle is basically the best show I’ve ever played in my life. We had a crowd of like 3, 500. We won a battle of the bands to do it. We made 10, 000 flyers.
Steve Kellner: We had to get there around eight o’clock. We spent the entire morning putting up flyers everywhere and then stood at the gates handing out flyers to every single person. We had members of our street team that we met on the line outside of the venue handing out flyers. It was an amazing experience.

Now you’re doing small shows right now, but we were talking earlier about you planning to do a national tour in the future?
Steve Kellner: Hopefully as soon as possible. We’ve got some small East Coast and Midwest tours coming up that are just about done with the booking. We’re just looking to fill up as much as possible to get out there and spread the word.

What’s the difference between an acoustic show and a regular set? What’s the difference between the vibe?
Steve Kellner:
We have a very energetic live show. We love playing live, full band, get all the sound…That’s when we get to showcase how tight we are as a group. Just the energy is way different. And acoustic is a lot more personal and you get to sing along and enjoy it.
Stephen Jasko: The big difference for me is…a full band show, you’re talking meeting up hours ahead of time and packing everything up. It’s way more of a process as opposed to today, you just take two acoustic guitars and show up. [laughs] That part I like about it better. When it’s the full band, it comes down to fifty percent putting on a show and fifty percent playing as opposed to acoustic is about…
Steve Kellner: Sounding good as possible.
Stephen Jasko: Right.

Now, do you do a lot of the songwriting?
Steve Kellner: The two of us do a lot of the songwriting as a team—we’re an awesome team. We’ve gone through a bunch of member changes over the past year or so…We’ve been the driving force behind the writing, but with the new band mates over the past six months, we’ve just been clicking and doing a lot more stuff as a full band. It’s been great. It’s exciting to have so much input from every aspect of the band.
Stephen Jasko: And if me and him come with something, we show it to them—to get their criticism on it, to just make it better as a whole is another big factor with the new guys.

Do you have a favorite song that you’ve written?
Steve Kellner: Uh, I don’t know. One of my favorite songs that we play live when we have the full band and I guess a personal favorite as far as the lyrics go is an old song off our last EP called “Main Line To Flat Line”. It’s just more of a personal punch for me. I enjoy playing it. How about you?
Stephen Jasko: It’s a really hard question to answer because when I’m looking at an album of songs, I’m thinking every song is contributing as a whole. So I really can’t pick one.

Is there one song that stands out to your fans more?
Stephen Jasko:
Definitely “Birthday Girl”.
Steve Kellner: People like singing it. It’s great to see people singing along and it’s always fun to play it live. I guess it’s easier to remember the words and it’s just a fun song that builds up the energy.

Now, you’re both in school. How is it juggling the band and school and other jobs?
Stephen Jasko: I hate it so much.
Steve Kellner: It’s frustrating to say the least, but I don’t know. I wouldn’t really have it any other way.
Stephen Jasko: A couple of Sundays ago, we had a show, which we usually don’t have and I remember just getting home pretty late thinking, ‘how am I going to do this tomorrow? I have a full day of classes. It’s going to be terrible.’

Have you ever played for your schools or anything? Have you ever thought about that?
Stephen Jasko:
No.
Steve Kellner: Mm, naah.

Do they know you’re in a band? [laughs]
Steve Kellner: For the most part.
Stephen Jasko: Because we take music classes. It’s funny ‘cause I’ll see the flyer for the battle of the bands and it’s just this cheesy looking flyer. You can just tell it’s not going to be a good time. Then you have all the kids whose bands are in your classes and they’re all talking themselves up. You kind of just sit there quietly and hope to get out of there soon.

Do you guys have a message to send to your fans and all your future fans out there?
Steve Kellner:
Personally, whenever kids ask me for advice, I always tell them to do whatever makes you happy and have fun with what you’re doing because that’s the only thing I’ve followed and it’s taken me to where I am, which I’m grateful for. I mean, you can’t really put on an act because people will see through that. If you care about it enough and you love doing it, then if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. Don’t give it up if you care about it that much, just go ahead and do it. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Stephen Jasko: If I could say one thing to the fans, I would just say that we really do appreciate the hell out of them. Every show they come to, we’re going to put on a good show. We’re talk to anybody after.

If you could pick any song in the world to dedicate to your fans, which song would you pick and why?
Steve Kellner:
That’s tough. What’s a good song that shows my appreciation and love?
Stephen Jasko: I’m trying to pick a good song that has crowds screaming stuff, like gang vocal stuff. Maybe “We Will Rock You” from Queen.
Steve Kellner: [laughs] That’s pretty good. I’m having trouble of thinking of one. For some reason Bon Jovi’s “Living On A Prayer” came into my mind. But I don’t think that’s very fitting, but it’s a good song.

Encouraging prayers…
Steve Kellner: Encouraging praying. [laughs]

What are your goals with the band?
Steve Kellner: My goal is to just do it for as long as possible and have as much fun with it. To reach out to as many people as we can. My hope is to just somehow inspire everyone a little bit…just any kind of decision that will lead them to a bright future. I’m kind of a little spiritualistic the last couple of years, so I just…I don’t know. To know that we have a good message and are reaching out to as many people, that would be awesome.
Stephen Jasko: I guess every goal for a band our size is to reach that big point. But my goal is to really come out with that ultimate record one day, like personal and something different that will make people think.

As always, check out: www.myspace.com/vanattahigh for news, tour dates and more from Van Atta High!

For more photos of Van Atta High in StarShine, go to: http://gallery.starshinemag.com

To see Van Atta High’s welcome video and bloopers, check out our You Tube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/starshinemag

Dream Catchers: Chapter 2 – Penniless In Pinkston

Dream Catchers: Chapter 2 – Penniless In Pinkston

I walked through the rotating glass door with my hand on my purse, and sighed at the overcrowded station crawling with community college kids. All of the kids that went to my school had cars, or their parents picked them up. As a sophomore, students weren’t allowed to have a car on campus. My parents were usually too busy to come get me, but always offered for Christian Eriksson to drive me home.

Oh God, just the thought of Christian driving up to my school with his slicked back hair and his collared shirt, which he had to fasten every last button on, disturbed me. Sometimes I thought he’d choke himself. He had been working for my father’s company for over a year now. He’s fresh out of law school and ready to take his bar exam next month. Needless to say, my parents thought we were a match made in heaven ever since we were children. I would rather date the toothless construction worker who whistled at me every day on my way to Starbucks. Okay, so maybe I wouldn’t go that far out of my way to avoid Christian. He did have a perfect set of pearly whites, after all.

I searched through the crowd for the gate that read “Parksville”, which was in New Hampshire. From there I would take another bus to Bakersfield. I stepped in line for the bus and wrapped my arms around myself; a habit I had when I was uncomfortable in my surroundings. I wasn’t used to the smell of liquor and cheap cologne, the bums sleeping in the corners, and the sound of welfare families asking the snack stand cashiers if they accepted food stamps.

Suddenly, I felt a large bag hit me knocking me into the ropes that kept the rows for each gate in order. The golden metal poles, which were attached to the red velvet ropes, fell over causing a loud clatter. I fell to the floor, on my butt, and quickly got up out of embarrassment.

“Hey, I’m really sorry about that,” a young man’s voice said as he handed me my knapsack, which fell from my shoulder when I hit the ground.

I looked up at him, surprised to see such a handsome guy. Despite his army green button down shirt with a hole in the shoulder, his slight case of bed head, and his five o’clock shadow; there was an incredible sexual quality about him. I couldn’t place what made him most attractive. Maybe it was his bright green eyes with specks of gold all around the pupils. Or maybe it was the way his cinnamon brown hair flopped in those eyes before he pushed it back with his fingertips, which by the way had some dirt underneath his nails.

Wait, he was utterly repulsive, even more so as I saw his pack of Marlboro Lights hanging out of his pocket and the tattoo on his chest that stood out underneath his thin white tank top.
“It’s okay; just watch where you’re going,” I said, grabbing my bag away from him and turning away.

For all I know he could be one of those thieves that bang into innocent young girls just so they could steal their wallets.

“Typical,” he snickered.

I turned back around. I wasn’t in the mood to be messed with. Not today, the day I’m going back to Bakersfield.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re excused,” he said, with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes, and turned away as I folded my arms across my chest once again.

“Rich bitches,” he muttered before walking away.

My mouth dropped and I wanted to say something, but he was already in the men’s room.

Stupid ass.

I sighed as I glanced at my watch. I decided I better go to the bathroom before the bus comes.

I walked into the ladies’ room, which had toilet paper and sanitary products scattered on the dirty tiled floor, as well as an unpleasant odor that hit me right in the throat as soon as I opened the door. I scrunched my nose before going into a stall. When I came out, I walked over to the sink to wash my hands. I looked up at my reflection in the dingy mirror.

My long, dirty blond hair, that was normally straight, now had a few waves through it from the humidity. It looked lifeless on my shoulders. My drowsy-looking hazel eyes were a grayish color today, and my lip gloss still had shine left. I straightened my short sleeved button down white shirt that loosely bunched around my waist. Have I gained weight? I turned to look at my behind when I caught sight of my pale legs sticking out from underneath my Bermuda shorts. I don’t think I’ll be getting much sun this summer, either.

Sometimes I have to wonder why I even fuss over my appearance at all. I never seem to look right, just uncomfortable. My initial thought was to go home in a pair of sweat pants, a tank top and some Nikes. No make up, no anything. The thought fluttered away as I wondered what my parents would say.

“Haley, you are a respectable young woman. Dress like it,” my mother would be sure to lecture me.

I sighed before sweeping my hair up into a bun. I checked my purse and knapsack, making sure nothing was stolen in the altercation with the gorgeous-eyed thug. I walked out of the bathroom to see the bus driver taking the last person on the line’s ticket. I quickly ran over.

“Wait!” I yelled holding my ticket out.

The driver who was a little old and rickety asked for the ticket as I held it in front of his face. He ripped off the end, not even looking at it. I stepped onto the bus and scanned the aisles for an empty seat. There was only one left in the back and it was next to him. He shook his hair out of his eyes and looked up at me with a smirk. I rolled my eyes and headed toward him.
“So we meet again,” he said, raising his eyebrows.
“Must be my lucky day.”

I turned to the old woman across from him and tapped her shoulder lightly.

“Excuse me, ma’am, would you mind switching seats with me?” I asked just as the bus driver closed the doors and started the engine. The vibration ran through my legs as I waited for her answer.
“No, I am sitting with my husband,” the woman replied with a “humph!”

The bus began to leave the terminal and I lost my balance. I fell forward and flung my knapsack down the aisle. Two strong arms grabbed onto me, and I fell back on the seat, looking up at those green eyes.

“You okay there, princess?” he asked with a laugh that he was trying to stifle.

I quickly sat up and straightened my shirt.
“Fine, thank you,” I said somewhat snippy.

I walked down the aisle and retrieved my bag before sitting down next to him again.
“Jordan Walsh,” he said putting out his hand.

I glanced at it, slightly disgusted.
“We don’t have to socialize.”

I looked from his hand to his face as I spoke. He quickly took his hand back.
“My mistake. I should have known better,” he said irritated before focusing on the scenery outside the window.

Ugh, don’t be a total snob, Haley.
“Haley Foster,” I replied, extending my hand for a shake.

Jordan turned toward me and shook my hand. We shared a brief smile before we both turned away again.
“You from Boston?” he asked.
“No.”
“Didn’t think so,” he said with a short chuckle.

I looked at him curiously, “Why’s that?”
“Well, by the snide attitude and this getup, my guess would be some wealthy little town that your daddy owns,” his mouth smiled at his presumption, but my eyes narrowed at him.

My father didn’t own Bakersfield, but he might as well have.
“Maybe we should keep our thoughts to ourselves for the rest of the trip,” I said crossing my arms.

“Do you do that because you’re annoyed or uncomfortable?” he asked pointing toward my arms.

I quickly dropped my hands to my lap and huffed.
“I didn’t decide to ride a smelly Greyhound bus instead of a nice, air-conditioned car just so I could be psychoanalyzed by the likes of a worthless punk, who thinks he knows anything about me and where I come from.”

Jordan looked as if he got satisfaction out of my comment.
“Ouch,” he replied, “I guess I should thank my lucky stars that such high society was giving me the time of day.”

I rolled my eyes and turned toward him.
“Well, it was a mistake, so why don’t we just cut the chit chat now?”
“My kind of girl,” he said running his hand up my leg.

I pushed it off and he lifted his hand defensively. I turned on my side before pulling out my i-Pod and turning the volume up loudly.

Run away with me. Let’s get out of this place. We can take a ride and fly off into space. There’s a big wide world that’s waiting for you. If you want it, come and say “run away”.*

Isn’t it funny how you can relate a song to any moment in your life? Sometimes it doesn’t even have anything to really do with the situation you’re in, but somehow, you’ll make those lyrics fit you. I guess it makes you feel you’re not alone and things will somehow have a happy ending.

If only life were a song¾even a sad one lives on forever. If only I could say I actually lived once. As the lyrics played in my head, I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up extremely uncomfortable. I doubt I had more that ten minutes of actual sleep. The sun practically blinded me when I looked toward the window where Jordan slept. His head leaned against the window; fist balled up to his forehead and his other hand resting between his legs. He looked like a young boy at that moment. His lightly tanned skin was almost sun-kissed, with hints of rose and peach. I had this insane urge to reach over and brush his hair off his face, and I even imagined myself doing just that. I remembered our run in, though, and decided to just ignore his presence for the rest of the bus ride to Parksville. It would only be half an hour more.

I rested my head against the cushion of the seat. My neck was in knots and I began rubbing it to try and loosen it up. I groaned and realized my headphones were on my head, but no music was coming out. I took them off and rubbed my ears, as the bus driver announced a stop over the intercom.

Jordan stirred next to me. I liked that name. Tasha would probably accuse me of having a leftover crush on Jordan Knight from New Kids on the Block, but she knows better. In fact, she would be surprised if I even knew who the group was, let alone think one of the guys were cute. I couldn’t tell you what any of them looked like.

I can hardly name any pop culture from the ’80s or early ’90s, which completely freaked Tasha out when we met. If new wave was even a style anymore, Tasha was it. According to her, I’m Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club¾the princess. We joked about it when she forced me to watch that movie, claiming it to be the ultimate guide to stereotypes.

Tasha and I are a bit infatuated with stereotypes. We, of course, don’t keep anyone to one, but it’s just a fun game we play while bored in economics classes, to decide who would be cast as the geek, the freak, or the slut. It didn’t necessarily mean anyone was actually like that; it was just the vibe they gave off. I glanced over at Jordan from the corner of my eye¾rebel without a cause. Definitely. If he were in The Breakfast Club, he’d be Bender¾though Judd Nelson could never have lips like Jordan’s. I smiled to myself, forgetting that this guy isn’t some movie character, he knows when he’s being stared at.

“What are you looking at?” he asked, after he opened his eyes.
“Nothing,” I said looking down, pretending to go through my bag.
“What was your name again?” Jordan asked.

I sat up and looked over at him. He had this cocky smile on his face. I could stereotype him in a heartbeat. I bet he’s the type that makes girls melt. He woos them and breaks their hearts in the same day.
“That’s okay. It should stay forgotten,” I said, sitting back in my seat once again.
“I understand, Haley,” he emphasized my name, proving his goal was just to irritate me. “Daddy taught you not to talk to strangers, didn’t he?”

I turned toward him. He obviously liked to stereotype me.
“Do you like judging me, Jordan?”
“Hey, it’s only fair.”
“And why’s that?”

Jordan came in closer and flashed a sexy smirk before whispering.
“Because it’s the truth and lying would be against my rules.”

“What makes you so sure you know me?”
“Now, I could ask you the same question.”
“Well, your appearance exudes rugged rebellion,” I said with confidence.
“Exudes? Nice word. Learn it in preppy college? Or did you learn it back in high school; you know that private school your father paid for? Only the best for his little girl, right?”

I was beyond frustrated at this point. He played this game better than I did. Worse yet was that I didn’t want his description of me to be true. Everything I said about him, he was proud to call the truth. I didn’t feel the same about his impression of me. I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Why am I even wasting my time on¾”
“Scum? White trash? You want to hurt me, honey? I did shit to you and all you wanna do is insult me,” Jordan said with some anger to his voice.
“Looks like you’re the one insulting me,” I sighed as I looked down at my fingernails.
“It’s kill or be killed, right?”

I looked up at him and laughed.

“What’s so funny?”
“You think you’re so different than us?” I asked using my fingers for quotations.
“I am.”
“Yeah?” I asked. Jordan just looked at me. “That’s my dad’s motto.”

His jaw clenched as I stared him down. He laughed and so did I.
“Are you fucking serious?”
“Lying is against my rules,” I said quoting him.

He smiled and I returned it.
“All right then, I guess you won this round.”

Jordan gave in, and I’ll admit, I was proud. I couldn’t help but to think my father would somehow ruin this moment. I’m actually surprised he hasn’t called my cell phone yet, just proving to Jordan that I was Daddy’s pride and joy.

“Attention passengers, we’ll be making a stop in Pinkston. Feel free to exit the bus, stretch, grab some food or smoke a cigarette. We’ll be re-boarding the bus at three-fifteen. If you’re not on, that’s your problem,” the bus driver announced.

As soon as the bus parked, passengers scrambled to get off the vehicle. I searched through my purse for my cell phone. Where the hell was it? I then searched my knapsack before I got out of the seat. Jordan squeezed passed me, making sure to place his hand on my butt for support. I stood up straight and glared at him.

“Sorry, thought it was an armrest,” he smirked.

I gave him the dirtiest look I could muster before dumping out my bag onto the seat.

“Want anything?” he asked, grabbing his backpack and guitar out of the overhead compartment.
“No.”
“Whatcha looking for?”

He was standing over me. I glared up at him.
“My cell phone.”
“Are you sure you brought it?” he asked, as I just kept looking through the contents of my bag, which were on the seat obviously displaying the phone wasn’t there.
“Yes!” I yelled.
“Look, cut the attitude and maybe I’ll help you find it,” Jordan gritted at me.

I sighed as he pushed me out of the way and began looking under the seats. I followed his lead and all we wound up finding was my lip gloss.
“Oh well. Come on, I’ll buy you a drink,” Jordan said, motioning me off the bus.

I stuffed everything back into my knapsack before I reluctantly followed behind him into the small, truck stop deli.

“What do you want?” he asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Beer?”
“That’s gross. It’s the afternoon.”
He rolled his eyes, “It was a joke. Though you seriously need alcohol in your system.”

I angrily grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and followed Jordan up to the counter.
“All together?” the Russian man asked with a thick accent.
“No. This is separate,” I said.
“You think you’re hurting me? Ooh, you can pay for your own water,” Jordan said waving his hands in the air. “So I save $3.50, which by the way, sir, is very over-priced…” Jordan rambled as I looked through my knapsack for my wallet and he paid for his items.
“Shit,” I sighed.
“The bathroom’s in the back,” Jordan said, grabbing his bag of food and drinks.
“My wallet’s gone, too.”
“Today’s your lucky day. Don’t worry, it’s on me,” he said grabbing four dollars and putting it on the counter.
“I don’t care about the water! What am I going to do?” I about freaked.
“Maybe we should go with the beer after all,” Jordan smirked.

I could kill him. Of course, losing my wallet is meaningless to him, but I’ve never lost anything before. My life is in there. My ID, my money, my credit cards, my medial insurance card…my parents are going to flip.

I left the store and began walking toward the bus. Jordan followed me out with the bottle of water.
“Here you go,” he handed it to me.

I didn’t take it as I stared up at the bus. It read “Final Destination: Kingston”.

“What are you looking at?” he asked.
“This can’t be happening. Where’s Kingston?”
“New York. You don’t even know where you’re going? Fuck, what are your parents paying for?” Jordan asked.

Anger and frustration built up inside me and next thing I knew, I was swinging around with a balled up fist. It all seemed to happen so fast, but in slow motion at the same time. I hit Jordan right in the chin, hard. I never hit anyone before! My reaction might have been twenty years of suppressed aggression.
“Holy shit!” he screamed, and I covered my mouth quickly.
“Oh my God¾I’m sorry! Did I hurt you?” I asked, following him as he held his chin in pain and he slurred curses.

I took my bottle of water and grabbed his hand away. I placed the water against his chin. Jordan winced and tried to push me away, but I grabbed the back of his neck and held the water to his chin anyway.
“Shit…did you take some kind of self-defense class in college?”
“No, Tae Bo tapes,” I said, biting back a laugh.
“You think this is funny?” he asked.
“No,” I laughed. “Sorry.”

He laughed, too, and we both smiled, for once. I forgot about my wallet and my phone for a minute and he seemed to forget I punched him.

Suddenly, an engine roared and I quickly turned my head to see the doors on the bus pulling out of the parking lot.
“Oh shit…” Jordan said, starting to take off after it.
“No, wait!” I yelled as we both ran after the bus, but it was no use.

My legs were short and I couldn’t even catch up. Jordan was still trailing behind, but it was a lost cause. We were deserted…together.

Dream Catchers: Chapter 1 – Boston Blues

Dream Catchers: Chapter 1 – Boston Blues

A nightmare startled me awake. Groaning, I rolled over and glanced at the alarm clock.

4:07.

I groaned louder. Two hours? I thought the later I went to bed the more likely I was to fall soundly asleep. It had taken me a good twenty minutes to get comfortable before drifting off. And two hours later, here I was awake due to another nightmare.

For two weeks straight, I have averaged three hours of sleep a night. Either I just lie in bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about the boring summer that was ahead of me, or I had odd dreams.

I figured they were normal reoccurring nightmares; the one where you’re naked in public. Hasn’t everyone had that dream? I didn’t quite understand why I was having them so often and why they started two weeks ago.

I now remember the end of the semester fraternity party was exactly fourteen days ago. My best friend insisted I went with her. She was leaving her boyfriend behind and “needed” an escort. Tasha had a talent for convincing people to do things they didn’t want to do. I certainly didn’t want to go to some frat party.

After two years in college, I was still invisible on campus while Tasha was the life of the party. Socially, I clammed up and she was constantly trying to change that. She knew how to push the right buttons with me. I had two weaknesses when it came to forcing me into something; I didn’t say “no” to my friends and family and if someone dared me, I would do it as long as it was legal and within my moral conduct. That is what led me to drinking a mustard milkshake last year, which landed me in the bathroom for five hours.

So there I was at this party. Tasha and I were the only sober souls to be found. Sloppy drunken men leering at me was a turn-off, especially when our university’s linebacker spilled beer down my shirt and almost fell on me. A group of sorority sisters proceeded to laugh at me. At that point, I desperately wanted to leave. Trying to fight my way through the oblivious partygoers was not easy. What made it even more difficult was the intense anxiety attack I was having. I felt everyone staring at me as Tasha escorted me outside.

To these college kids, I was stuffy and didn’t know how to have fun. They were completely right, but I had no idea how to change.

That night I had the first of several nightmares. The events of the party happened all over again; this time, I was naked during the splashing of beer on my bare skin.

The lack of sleep had begun before the party, though. I had a strong feeling this form of anxiety was strictly related to my returning home for the summer.

The early morning sun was bright orange and was shining through my dormitory window on the 16th floor. The strength of the rays combined with the lack of sleep was giving me a headache. I looked out into the city that was normally busy with heavy traffic and loud horns.

Peace.

Never in my life have I seen Boston so asleep. Sometimes I wish I could fly above the tall buildings, the ones with burly construction workers hanging off them. High above the businessmen in stuffy, overpriced suits rushing to their destination, not even noticing they bumped into some helpless, old lady. I’d be away from everything.

Free.

The phone rang startling me a little. The dream of freedom plummeted to the ground as I answered it.

“Yeah Dad, the U-Haul is on its way. I’m catching the two-thirty bus…”

I listened to my father drone on about being careful and how he didn’t understand why I opted to take the bus. I didn’t offer much explanation or feedback to his questions and comments. I was too tired and too frustrated.

“Okay bye,” I eagerly hung up.

I sighed and looked back at the screen of my MacBook.

A.

I smiled as I looked at my communications course grade. I had nothing less than A’s throughout most of my academic career. I opened up a blank document and began an entry in my journal. It was a rare occurrence that I had time to write anything besides a ten-page essay on governmental ethics or theories on justice. Pre-law isn’t the best way to go. At least it’s not for me. What else was I to do? A lack of skills, passion and determination leave me nothing but my ability to learn easily and get good grades. One thing I found pleasure in was my journal. There, I could express my deepest thoughts and dreams.

My eyes shifted above my desk to the frame on the wall. Then again, a picture always spoke to me more than words on paper. The photo I had taken a couple of years ago of the moon still amazed me. I found myself lost in it several times while sitting at this desk, trying to focus on the judicial system.

The harvest moon glowed gloriously against the contrasting backdrop of the midnight sky. Stars scattered sporadically, yet strategically across the blank canvas. It was rare to see stars accompany the harvest moon. I was incredibly lucky to capture this vivid image. My roommate, Alisha, thought it was a painting at first glance. Of course, she didn’t believe that I could have taken such a photo.

I guess not many wealthy Bostonians stared up at the moon for very long. There was something devastatingly beautiful in thinking I could be the only one who shared a moment with the magnificent lunar globe every night. It was a shame not enough people acknowledged its beauty these days; however, it was like a romance between me and something much bigger than anything else. The moon is where my dreams lie, ready for me whenever I was willing to take them. I reached for the photo from the wall and placed it in my knapsack.

A loud knock caused me to jump. The sound echoed off the bare walls. I walked through the now empty room to open the heavy creaky piece of metal.

“Haley!” Tasha yelled hugging me.

“Hey Tash.”

She was a short Latina with big boobs and long eyelashes. Over the past two years, she had become my best friend. She was the only girl at the university who wasn’t a complete snob. She came from a wealthy family, just as I did, and like almost everyone else at school. Tasha never acted like it, though.

“I can’t believe you’re going home for the summer,” she said, plopping down at what was my roommate’s desk.
“Well, where else am I supposed to go?” I asked as I sat down across from her.
“Stay here with me!”

I laughed, “And live with you and Ricky?”

She rolled her eyes, “Don’t even get me started on him.”

Tasha and Ricky had been living together since the beginning of the school year. He just graduated, while we just finished our sophomore year. Ricky’s a nice guy, but he tries to control her. If you knew Tasha, you’d know she doesn’t put up with it. They often fight, no matter who was around. I try to stay clear of spending time with them together.

“So what are you going to do in Dorksville?”

She was referring to my hometown of Bakersfield, Vermont.

It was a small town with great landscaping, but filled with uptight business-oriented minds. One could only imagine how much fun it is growing up in that atmosphere.
“I’m going to intern at my father’s law firm,” I said with a roll of my eyes, and a gag of my tongue.

Tasha laughed a little, “If you hate law so much then why are you doing it?”

I shrugged, “My parents are both lawyers.”

She just stared at me as if to say “so?”

I thought about the love story my parents portrayed. They both came from money and met in law school. To celebrate the passing of their bar exams, they got married. Since then, they worked together, lived together, raised me together, and I had to admit, it was absolutely irritating sometimes. To me, their lives were one. They did nearly the same thing every weekend: go to the country club for a luncheon or play tennis. In the winter I was forced to spend Christmas with them and their friends, the Eriksson family, at Foster’s Ski Lodge, which was named after my grandfather.

“Because I think I’d be good at it,” I said the first thing that popped into my mind.
“Yeah, and I’d be good at wiping shit off toilet seats, but you don’t see me going into custodial arts.”

I cracked up laughing.
“Well you have a dream. I don’t.”

I glanced back at the first couple of sentences written on my laptop. I saved the document and closed the computer before looking back at Tasha. She wanted to be a dancer. I thought she should become a choreographer. She had a unique style, and a flare for creating new dance steps. She always laughed that idea off.

“I wish you were coming with me,” I said sadly.
“I do, too, but you know I can’t leave the dance group before the recital. That’s why I think you should stay here.”

I smiled at her.
“You know my parents would never let me do that.”

She rolled her eyes.
“Haley, you’re twenty-years-old!” she yelled, running her freshly painted nails through her wild, almond colored curls. “You’re not their little girl anymore.”

I sighed, “I know, but I don’t want them to be mad at me, and besides, where am I supposed to work then?”
“You can get a job easily, Haley…you just want them to support you.”

I shot her a cold glare.
“I can’t believe you said that to me.”

I was truly offended.
“Hay, come on now, I know you like to have them pay for everything.”
“No, that’s not it. I would have worked if they would have let me,” I said in my defense.
“Would you listen to yourself? When are you going to stop letting them run your life?”
“Look, they’re good people, and they just want what’s best for me. I really don’t want to fight with you about this.”

Tasha rubbed her lips together and mouthed “okay”.
“When do you have to leave?”

I glanced at my watch.
“I should get going now.”

I stood up and picked up the Louis Vuitton purse and strapped it across my chest. I stuffed the laptop inside my leather Donna Karan knapsack, and swung it over my shoulder.
“I’ll miss you,” Tasha said, now standing up with her arms reaching out toward me. I gave her a hug.
“I’ll miss you, too.”
“Try to have fun this summer.”

I nodded, knowing that fun would be the last thing to enter my life in the next few months.

“Come on, I’ll drive you to the bus station,” she said, as I took one last look around the small room I stayed in during the school year.

I was happy to be leaving the cramped living space that I never really could call home. Then again, when I was home, all I could think about was getting away from the conservative town along with my beautiful house, which held my bedroom that was smothered with useless accessories and overpriced furniture.

On the third day in June, the weather was already showing signs of a brutally hot summer. I sat in the passenger seat of Tasha’s Mercedes E Class Convertible as the music blasted. One thing I owed to her was my newfound love for music. Growing up, I listened to the classics and oldies since that’s what my parents enjoyed. There weren’t many kids my age in Bakersfield, so it was hard for me to get into popular music. I bopped my head to the new Beyoncé song as Tasha sang along at the top of her lungs.

“God, I would kill to have her body!” she said with a grit of her teeth.

I just looked at her and laughed.
“What are you talking about? You have a better body than her.”

I laughed even more at the topic of our conversation.
“Yeah right! Okay, so I do have bigger boobs, but she has a better ass!”
“But you’ve got those hips that Ricky loves,” I giggled, remembering one night how Ricky went on and on about the way Tasha’s hips moved when she danced. She nodded her head at me as if to say I had a point.
“Make sure you go to some clubs once in a while.”
“Yeah, because Bakersfield is just crawling with them,” I said sarcastically.

She looked at me sympathetically as we pulled up to the Greyhound station.

“I’ll call you when I get home.”
“Okay, maybe I’ll come up for the fourth of July,” she smiled. “I’ll bet your parents would just love that.”

I rolled my eyes.

It wasn’t that my parents hated Tasha. They’re just not open-minded. She is a free-spirit and very fun-loving. You either loved her or you hated her. She never has trouble finding guys to fall all over her; they were never an issue. Girls are Tasha’s main enemy. Most of them, especially the snobs, thought her personality was too much. They took her self-confidence as an insult, like it offended them to see someone who did as she pleased and didn’t care what anyone thought. She was a threat to their conformity. There were also the girls like me, who at times wished we could be her.

“My parents just don’t like different,” I groaned and Tasha’s expression looked offended. “I mean different in a good way.”

She smiled, “I know.”
“Take care of yourself and good luck with the recital.”

I hugged her.
“Thanks Haley. I hope something wonderful happens to you this summer.”

I smiled even though I knew that it wouldn’t happen.

My life was planned for me at birth. A boring, miserable job surrounded by wealth, bad company, and most likely, an uptight businessman for a husband.

Every girl’s fantasy, right?

“Goodbye Tash.”
“Bye Hay.”

I grabbed my bag and got out of the car. I looked up at the building in front of me with the large dog on it and sighed. This was my transport system back to my own comfy prison.

Welcome to the ALL-NEW sandy-lo.com!

Welcome to the ALL-NEW sandy-lo.com!

Hello!  Sorry it has taken a minute to get this all up & running again…but I hope you like the new site!  New things will be added soon including reviews, interviews, events to support Lost In You and more info on my second novel, Dream Catchers and my book with Anna Sundstrand!!!  Also, I now have a publicist, the wonderful Mona Loring!  More news soon…thanks for stopping by and for all of your support!

Hugs, Kisses & Stars,

Sandy Lo

Jesse McCartney Recharges the Battery on Departure

Jesse McCartney Recharges the Battery on Departure

Departure, the third album by pop star Jesse McCartney has officially landed him in a cozy spot in Hollywood, which is why it’s being re-released on April 7th with four bonus tracks he co-wrote. The multi-platinum album was the outcome of years of performing in a boy band, (Dream Street ring a tiny bell?) and singing for Radio Disney crowds with his teeny-bopper hit “Beautiful Soul”. He also acted on successful TV shows like All My Children, and not so successful ones like the potentially sound, but ultimately short-lived Summerland.

Wait—how old is this kid? Oh yeah, he’s only 21! Though his latest, matured hits “Leavin’” and “How Do You Sleep?” have opened McCartney up to a wider audience—for him and his already loyal fans—this is where hard work finally pays off. However, fame comes with a price. McCartney regrets not being able to reach all of his fans. In a recent interview, StarShine asked him what his response is to fans that can’t access him in a crowd while others can.

“The fans are so dedicated and loyal, and of course I want to spend every minute I have with them before and after a show. The problem is sometimes there’s so many of them that come to hang out. It’s inevitable that somebody might get slighted, ya know?” he reasons. “After a long show, to sign three-hundred autographs and take three-hundred pictures with every single person outside of a venue, it’s a little unrealistic.”

“Unfortunately, someone’s going to feel like I’m snubbing them, especially with the really hardcore fans—if it doesn’t all go the way that they saw it—it’s hard for them to accept that, but I do whatever I can for them because they are the reason I have my career.” At the end of the day, he just hopes they know he appreciates them.

Jesse as Andy on ABC Family’s “Greek”.

Coinciding with the release of Departure: Recharged, McCartney began his six-episode stint on ABC Family’s TV comedy, Greek, on March 30th as a college freshman named Andy. “He’s really green and trying to get used to being in college, specifically in a fraternity,” he discusses the role. “He has to choose between these two frat houses.”

McCartney was excited to be back on television and working with some of the same writers from Summerland once again. “The biggest difference for me is that it was a comedy for once. It was definitely a lot fun working with those guys who are great actors.”

Though he wasn’t giving anything away, Jesse McCartney assured StarShine there will be more acting in his future. “That’s one of my biggest goals for the end of ’09 into 2010 is to really have some more film stuff in the repertoire.”

When asked about the best moment in his career, McCartney didn’t list hearing his song on the radio for the first time or getting a platinum record—it was something a little deeper than that success. “I think having a big number one hit song I didn’t record was pretty amazing.” He is of course talking about the song he co-wrote with Ryan Tedder, “Bleeding Love”, which was Leona Lewis’ breakout hit in case you were living under a rock the past year. “Having [Leona Lewis] get nominated for a Grammy—that whole chapter in my life—you know, really getting validated as a writer—really opened the door for me as a writer and definitely built up the credibility.” McCartney plans to expand his songwriting credibility soon enough. Recently, he’s been in the studio writing more songs for Jordin Sparks as well as Toni Braxton.

Speaking of songwriting, Departure: Recharged’s last four tracks offer a taste of Jesse’s abilities with a pen. From the romantic “Oxygen” with its falsetto chorus and the tortured love story of  “Crash & Burn” to the sexually charged “Body Language” and the intoxicatingly alluring addiction of “In My Veins”—the extra songs are worth the purchase of the CD! Plus, the remix of “How Do You Sleep?” featuring Ludacris has been included as well.

“I feel like it’s a step in the direction of the next album. It’s a little bit more rhythmic, R&B direction,” McCartney says, leaving it open to ask about possibilities for the next record. “I definitely want to go a little bit more R&B, but as far as the content or what I want it to sound like—it’s hard to say at this point—I haven’t really thought about it. I’m still working on this one,” he laughs.

New Album Cover.

If the next album is anything like Departure, he’s sure to have another hit on his hands! If you haven’t bought the original CD yet, the new one is well worth your dollar. With familiar songs like “Leavin’”, “It’s Over” and “How Do You Sleep?” to R&B/Pop sexually suggestive and fun songs like “Into Ya” and “Freaky”—this is a well-rounded album for any fan of Jesse McCartney and this genre of music!

You can purchase Departure: Recharged online at Amazon.com or at most music retailers. Be sure to catch Jesse McCartney on Greek Mondays on ABC Family at 8pm EST. For more information, go to: www.jessemccartney.com.

To win an autographed copy of Departure: Recharged in StarShine, click here for details.