After struggling to find clothes that fit him while shopping in August 2021, Benji Xavier decided he needed to change things up.
Xavier, 28, from New Jersey, has always struggled with his weight and has spent years trying fad diets only to end up miserable.
“I lost weight, but not in a healthy way. I felt like I was a victim of a toxic diet culture,” he told Business Insider.
He's not alone: The US diet industry is estimated to be worth more than $70 billion in 2023. But attitudes towards weight loss appear to be shifting away from unhealthy quick-fix pills towards a focus on nutrition and long-term, sustainable change. Meanwhile, people who take GLP-1 drugs like Wegovi and Maunjaro have previously told BI that their use of the drugs confirms their experience that diets don't work, reflecting society's unfair attitude of blaming weight gain on a lack of willpower.
Xavier lost 100 pounds through a strict diet in high school, but he says it was “unsustainable” — a combination of juggling a college degree, an internship and emotional eating led to the weight gain back.
Weighing in at 282 pounds, Xavier had a family history of obesity-related illnesses, including type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol, which left him feeling low in confidence, shy and increasingly anxious about his health.
In 2021, Xavier decided to embark on a second, but this time sustainable, weight loss journey.
“My mindset started to change as I realized I'm getting older and I need to be healthy. It's not just about how I look or being thin,” he said.
He lost 85 pounds in about nine months, then stopped a few months later to lose another 15. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, a safe weight loss goal is one to two pounds per week.
Xavier lost 100 pounds by cutting out fast food and making his favorite dishes healthier.
At his heaviest, Xavier would eat fast food multiple times a day, and when he ate home-cooked meals, he would binge.
“You can imagine the calories just going up and up and the weight going up,” he said.
Benji Xavier lost 100 pounds by making his favorite dishes healthier at home. Benji Xavier
When Xavier stopped eating out and started cooking healthy meals of his favorite foods, he found himself in a natural calorie deficit — burning more calories than he took in. He began losing weight quickly, without having to count calories. Xavier's upcoming cookbook, “The Rebel Diet,” includes the recipes he used to lose weight sustainably.
He also made a conscious effort to avoid demonizing certain foods or cutting out entire food groups, which he knew was neither realistic nor healthy, instead eating high-calorie foods in moderation, switching out lower-calorie foods like low-fat cheese, and choosing foods that kept him feeling fuller for longer, like high-protein pasta.
He also joined a gym and started training six days a week. His training routine consisted of 30 minutes of cardio four days a week and weightlifting six days a week.
The CDC recommends at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise per week and two days of muscle-strengthening exercise per week. Experts previously told BI that rest is also crucial for health.
It's also important to note that while exercise has many health benefits, its impact on weight is smaller than many people think.
Within a few months, Xavier lost about 50 pounds. When his progress stalled, he started tracking his calories. He used a food tracking app and a scale to calculate his maintenance calories and then subtract 10-20% to get the amount of food he needed to lose weight.
“It got me out of a slump and allowed me to see what was going on,” he said.
It's a lifestyle, not a diet
Now that he's maintaining his weight and no longer trying to lose it, Xavier is exercising less but still tries to get in 30 minutes of aerobic exercise a day, even if it's just a short walk in the park.
“Right now I'm enjoying training,” he said.
Xavier maintains his weight loss through healthy lifestyle changes. Benji Xavier
He still cooks a lot and now intuitively knows how much he can eat without gaining weight, but he doesn't obsess about it.
These habits have become a part of his lifestyle and have helped him maintain his weight loss for two years. He has “cheat days” and eats what he wants guilt-free on vacation because he knows he can get back to a healthy lifestyle when he gets home. “One day of eating isn't going to ruin your life,” he says.
But he stressed that it took time and effort to get to this stage: “It's a lifestyle, not a diet, and I think it takes practice to really get it,” he said.
Finding balance to repair your relationship with food
Xavier began his weight loss journey with the goal of becoming healthier, not losing weight, and the result has been that he's happier than he's ever been.
“I was like, I've had enough. I can't do this anymore. I can't torture myself anymore. I'm going to eat healthier. And it worked,” he said.
Previously, he said, it felt like a constant mental battle as he withheld his favorite foods and obsessed with what he couldn't eat, and he felt intense guilt and anxiety if he ate something “bad.”
“If you're obese or have a tendency towards obesity, it can be hard to struggle with your weight and maintain a healthy weight and overall health, but you still have to eat every day,” he said.
He said he now feels better emotionally, mentally and physically, which motivates him to stay healthy.
“I've finally gotten to a place where everything is OK. I'm happy. I've found balance. I now have a healthy relationship with food,” he said.
