A few years ago, Jamil Zaki, a Stanford psychologist who studies empathy, found herself split between her research and her inner life.
It was the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, but by day he remained upbeat, praising the many positives he and his lab have discovered about how kind, generous and big-hearted most people are — qualities the world needs to know about.
But at night, he would doomscroll and get caught in an endless loop of negative thoughts.
Zaki was keenly aware of the paradox that if scholars dedicated to studying human goodness have lost faith in humanity, what hope is there for the rest of us?
In his new book, Hope for the Cynic: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness (Grand Central Publishing, 2024), Zaki, an associate professor of psychology in the School of Humanities and Sciences and director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Institute, shares how he escaped the cynic's trap and suggests simple but effective ways to prevent cynical tendencies from taking over.
Cynicism is a losing strategy
Zaki argues that the cynic's mindset – the idea that humans are selfish, greedy, and dishonest – is often more naive than we realize. Of course, bad things happen, but the cynic's perception doesn't match reality. He explains that the cynic's mindset is harmful both to individuals and to society.
Research shows that cynics tend to earn less, be more depressed, and drink more alcohol. Sadly, cynics are more likely to die younger than non-cynics. Cynics are also less likely than optimists to take part in collective actions or protests, sign petitions, or vote.
“By never trusting, cynics never lose,” Zaki writes. “They never win. Never trusting anyone is like folding every hand at poker before it even begins. Cynics protect us from predators, but they also close off opportunities for cooperation, love, and community — all of which require trust. And while we forever remember the people who hurt us, we struggle to recognize the friends we could have made if we had been more open.”
Social Shark Attack
At Stanford, Zaki witnessed students grossly underestimating one another.
In 2022, Zaki and his lab surveyed thousands of Stanford undergraduates, asking them how much they care about their classmates, whether they enjoy helping others, and whether they like to connect with students they don't know.
The researchers also asked participants about their perceptions of the average Stanford student.
The results of his research, published in Hope for Cynics, were astonishing.
“We discovered not one, but two Stanfords,” Zaki writes, “one authentic, student-self-reported. This campus had an exceptionally warm atmosphere. 85% of students said they wanted to meet new friends. 95% said they enjoyed helping a peer who was down. Their empathy was top-notch.”
But students found the Stanford community unwelcoming.
“Students believed that their 'average' classmate was relatively unfriendly, critical, and unkind,” Zaki added, noting that these beliefs made students reluctant to share their struggles with friends or initiate conversations with classmates.
Grand Central Publishing, 2024
The students were experiencing what Jamil Zaki calls a “social shark attack”: they imagined a worst-case scenario as inevitable, but the likelihood of it actually coming to fruition was extremely low.
To combat this, Zaki's lab partnered with Frosh 101, a freshman program, to create an advertising campaign to counter these misconceptions. The lab hung posters in targeted dorms, showed students actual data about how eager their classmates were to socialize, and spoke with residents to discuss the survey results. This intervention led to students feeling more positive and more willing to engage with their classmates.
Being a “hopeful skeptic”
In addition to questioning our assumptions about other people, Zaki recommends replacing cynicism with “hopeful skepticism,” which combines critical thinking with an openness to new information.
Hope, he explains, shouldn't be mistaken for naivety or optimism, which is idealism that, taken to excess, can turn into “toxic positivity,” a way of brushing off negative feelings and emotions.
Hope, on the other hand, acknowledges those experiences. By acknowledging them, hope can inspire people to change and take action.
Adding skepticism to hope encourages investigation.
As Zaki emphasizes, hopeful skepticism is about applying a scientific mindset: Like scientists, hopeful skeptics seek facts and evidence rather than relying on emotion and fear, and they are critical and curious rather than fatalistic.
“Cynicism often boils down to a lack of good evidence, so to be less cynic is simply to be more perceptive,” Zaki says, adding, “The cynic voice inside each of us insists that we already know everything about humanity. But humanity is far more beautiful and complex than cynics imagine, and the future is far more mysterious than they know.”
