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It's the end of a meal at a restaurant and you're presented with the bill. Suddenly, the enjoyment of the food you just ate is replaced by a slight wave of anxiety as you realize you have to figure out how much to tip.
If you tip too little, will you face the wrath of the waiters? Do you end up tipping too much? What if the service was bad, should you tip?
The debate is not limited to restaurants: tips can be offered to many workers, including hairdressers, taxi drivers and hotel porters.
A new law requires workers to receive their full tips – which is expected to benefit some three million workers in England, Scotland and Wales.
But there are no strict rules on how long you can stay.
“Show your appreciation for good service”
Mae, a 17-year-old waitress working at a small business, says she doesn't expect customers to tip on top of the service charge added to the bill.
“So it's quite unusual for customers to tip afterwards, which is great. Many customers actually check that when they pay, the service is available and that it's distributed fairly.”
But she says a friend of hers works at a place where they don't add a service charge, so customers usually tip.
A tip is “an unwarranted and spontaneous payment offered by a customer,” according to the government, while a service charge is “an amount added to the customer’s bill before presentation.”
Etiquette expert Laura Akano of Polished Manners says it's always “up to the individual” to determine how much to tip, but she thinks “it's important to show appreciation if you've received good service “.
If the service fees are discretionary, you can request their removal. If it's mandatory, you can't do it, but the establishment must make this clear to you verbally or in writing before ordering.
Tips and service charges may be shared between multiple staff members – for example, the person who brought you your dish as well as the person who washed it.
“My regulars would take me out and pay for my drinks.”
Peter, 40, from Leeds, says the most memorable advice he received was from his two favorite pub regulars.
He knew them well and had their pints served before they reached the bar.
One night he was closing up and they invited him to join them at a local strip club.
“They paid for all my drinks and a dance for me,” he says. “That was generous.”
During his last shift at the bar, other regular customers put £10 notes in his hands and wished him luck, “which was very nice of them”, he says.
However, he also worked in restaurants where tips were refused by management, and in a hotel where service charges were never paid to staff.
“But when you need a job, and that’s what’s available, you don’t argue too hard,” he says.
The new law means that service charges must now be paid to staff.
“It’s good to have a guide”
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How much you tip is entirely up to you, but many tourist websites suggest leaving around 10-15% in the UK.
Where Mae works, a 12.5% service charge is added to the bill.
Jemma Swallow, who owned a tea room in London, says 10% “covers most situations, without leaving the customer irritated at being asked for tea and the staff at not receiving one.”
Ms Akano agrees that 10% is about right. “Whether people do that or not is different, but it’s good to have a guide.”
Outside of the UK, in countries like the US, tipping can involve paying more than 20%, which is often obligatory even if the service is poor.
Mae says she doesn't tip in the UK because the service is almost always included, but that's the case when she's been to the US.
“I tipped every time because the tipping culture is different there. That being said, it was a little uncomfortable at times.”
In some Asian countries, tipping is considered impolite, although the proliferation of Western-branded hotels makes this practice less taboo.
“Penelope,” not her real name, is the kitchen manager and says the amount you tip depends on where you eat.
If it's a hungry horse, you have certain expectations about the meal and will tip accordingly. However, if you're dining at the Ivy, you'll probably tip more “to make it look like you're spending a lot,” she says.
“At the end of the day, it’s theater,” she adds.
“It looks like blackmail”
Nige Eaton
Nige Eaton doesn't like service charges automatically added to the bill
If a discretionary service charge has been added to your bill and you believe it should not have been added, you have the right to request that it be removed.
Nige Eaton, 56, a restaurant regular from Bedfordshire, says he has always worried that tips won't reach staff and doesn't like restaurants which automatically add a service charge.
“When it’s printed on the invoice, it looks like a kind of blackmail and some customers feel obligated to pay it, which is wrong,” he says.
If staff do a good job, they should be tipped – but it should be up to the customer, he says.
Etiquette expert John-Paul Stuthridge says it's prudent to check restaurant websites to see if a service charge is included “given the prevalence of 'surprise' service charges”.
“You can ask a member of staff, but discretion is the key, so try to ask them quickly and out of earshot of your guests.”
Ms. Akano suggests letting a staff member know that you are unhappy with the amount charged before the bill even arrives. This way they could waive the service fees for you.
“A good evaluation is more useful than small change”
Tipping in many industries has evolved from the days of leaving change on the table, with card and contactless payments now the norm.
However, “the spirit of tipping to thank hard-working staff remains strong,” says Kate Nicholls, chief executive of trade group UK Hospitality.
“If you want to tip a specific person, a cash tip will allow them to keep it themselves, while leaving a tip on the bill or on the table will benefit the entire team, from the front desk to chefs to kitchen porters, I work hard in the kitchen.”
An alternative to tipping in the 21st century might be posting on social media, something people are increasingly doing and which is “honestly really appreciated,” according to Mae, who says her bosses “are really involved with tipping.” things like reposting stories where people have photos of food.”
Stuthridge says leaving a positive review on social media can actually be worth more than a good tip, depending on the size and nature of the restaurant.
“The time and energy spent leaving a good review probably helps the business more in the long run than any small change.”
