Jonathan Head
Southeast Asia Correspondent
Benjamin Begley/BBC
Chanatip (left) and Pisit dream of the day they could officially get married
As Thailand’s long-awaited marriage equality law comes into effect on Thursday, police officer Pisit “Kew” Sirihirunchai hopes to be the first to marry his longtime partner Chanatip “Jane” Sirihirunchai.
Some 180 same-sex couples register their union at one of Bangkok’s biggest shopping malls, in an event that city authorities helped organize to celebrate the legal milestone.
“We have been ready for a very long time,” says Pisit. “We were just waiting for the law to catch up and support us.”
The two men have been together for seven years. Eager to make their relationship official, they have already approached a Buddhist monk to give them an auspicious new last name that they can share: Sirihirunchai. They also asked local authorities to issue a letter of intent, which they both signed, committing to marry.
But they say having their union recognized by Thai law is what they really dreamed of. This means that LGBTQ+ couples now have the same rights as any other couple to get engaged and marry, manage their property, inherit and adopt children.
They can make decisions about medical treatment if their partner becomes ill or incapacitated, or extend financial benefits – such as the Pisit government pension – to their spouse.
“We want to build a future together – build a house, start a small business together, maybe a coffee shop,” he adds, listing everything the law has allowed. “We want to build our future together and take care of each other.”
Prisit says he has the full support of his colleagues at the station and hopes he can encourage others working in public service to speak openly about their sexuality: “They should feel emboldened because they can see us come out without repercussions , only positive”. answers.”
As a young couple, Prisit and Chanatip – both in their 30s – faced fewer obstacles than those who came out much earlier.
But for their community, the journey has been long. Despite Thailand’s famous tolerance of LGBTQ+ people, activists say it took a sustained campaign to gain legal recognition.
Pisit Sirihirunchai
Pisit wants to be a role model for young gay police officers
“We have been waiting for 18 years for this day – the day when everyone can recognize us openly, when we no longer need to be evasive or hide,” says Rungtiwa Thangkanopast, 59, who will marry her partner 18 years old. in May.
She had been married, arranged by her family, to a homosexual man, who later died. She had a daughter, thanks to IVF, but after her husband died, she began spending time, then helping to run one of Bangkok’s first lesbian pubs. Then she met Phanlavee, who is now 45 and goes only by her first name.
On Valentine’s Day 2013, the two women went to the Bang Rak district office in central Bangkok to apply to officially marry – a popular place for marriage registration because the name in Thai means “Love Town”.
This was the time when LGBTQ+ couples began to challenge the official view of marriage as an exclusively heterosexual partnership by attempting to obtain marriage certificates at district offices.
That day, around 400 heterosexual couples were waiting for them. Rungtiwa and Phanlavee were refused and Thai media mocked their efforts, using derogatory slang towards lesbians.
Running past
Rungtiwa (right) and Phanlavee are getting married in May, but they attended a government-sponsored event to raise awareness about marriage equality.
Campaigners nevertheless managed to persuade the government to consider changing marriage laws. A Civil Partnership Bill has been introduced to Parliament, offering some official recognition to same-sex couples, but not the same legal rights as heterosexual couples.
A military coup in 2014 that toppled the elected government halted the movement. It would be another decade before parliament approved full marriage equality, in part because of the rise of young, progressive political parties championing the cause.
Their message resonated with Thais – and attitudes changed too. At that time, same-sex marriage was legalized in many Western countries and same-sex love had also become normal in Thai culture.
The movement in favor of the law was such that it was adopted last year by an overwhelming majority of 400 votes to only 10 against. Even in the notoriously conservative Senate, only four opposed the law.
And couples like Rungtiwa and Phanleeva now have the opportunity to have their love for each other recognized, without the risk of public derision.
“With this law comes legitimacy for our family,” says Rungtiwa. “We are no longer seen as weirdos just because our daughter is not being raised by heterosexual parents.”
The new law removes gender-specific terms like man, woman, husband and wife from 70 sections of the Thai Civil Code covering marriage, and replaces them with neutral terms like individual and spouse.
Running past
Rungtiwa says marriage equality law finally recognizes their family
However, there are still dozens of laws in the Thai legal code that are not yet gender neutral, and there are still obstacles that prevent same-sex couples from using surrogacy to start a family.
Parents are still defined by Thai law as a mother and a father. The law also does not allow people to use their preferred gender on official documents; they are still stuck with their birth gender. These are areas where activists say they will need to continue to push for change.
However, this is a historic moment for Thailand, which constitutes an exception in Asia in terms of recognition of marriage equality. And it’s especially important for older couples, who have had to deal with changing attitudes.
“I really hope that people will put aside the old stereotypical ideas that gay men can’t have true love,” says Chakkrit “Ink” Vadhanavira.
He and his partner Prinn, both in their 40s, have been together for 24 years.
Benjamin Begley/BBC
Chakkrit (right) and Prinn have been together for more than two decades
“We have both proven that we sincerely love each other, through thick and thin, for over 20 years,” says Chakkrit. “We were ready to take care of each other since our first day together. We are no different from heterosexual couples.”
While Chakkrit’s parents quickly accepted their partnership, it took Prinn’s parents seven years before they were able to do so.
The couple also wanted to share the production business they ran together, as well as other assets, as a couple, so they asked Prinn’s parents to officially adopt Chakkrit, giving him the same last name . Prinn says the new law has brought them welcome legal clarity.
“For example, right now, when a same-sex couple buys something together — a large item — they can’t share ownership of it,” Prinn said. “And if one of us dies, what we have both earned together cannot be passed to the other. That’s why marriage equality is very important.”
Today, Prinn says, both sets of parents treat them as they would any other married child.
And when they had relationship problems, like any other couple, their parents helped them.
“My dad even started reading gay magazines to understand me better. It was pretty cute to see that.”
Additional reporting by Thanyarat Doksone and Ryn Jirenuwat in Bangkok
