Hatty Nash
BBC World Service
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Kalki Koechlin is a popular Bollywood actor
Kalki Koechlin played in successful Bollywood films, modeled for international beauty brands and appeared on the cover of Vogue India. But in a world that puts such a bonus with a young aspect, she sometimes says that she feels “ugly”.
“We live in a social world (media) that has distorted beauty,” said the actor, writer and producer with the award -winning podcast BBC World Service. “He brought us into the thought of thinking about a certain size, a certain color or a certain form.”
The half -hour program presents parents’ letters to their children – in which they transmit the advice and life lessons that matter to them – and a conversation with the host of the show Namulanta Kombo.
Kalki’s letter is sent to her five -year -old daughter. In this document, it offers advice to navigate pressures around the body image and describes the ways in which unrealistic beauty standards have affected it personally.
The actor, who lives in Goa in India with her husband, the Israeli musician Guy Hershberg and their daughter, says that the inspiration for the letter came to him when, one day after school, the child came to her to say that she did not feel pretty.
“When they are so young, they are so perfect and you think:” Oh my God. How can you think you’re not pretty?! “” She said on the podcast.
In the letter, Kalki, who is herself the host of another BBC podcast, My Indian Life, writes that she also feels “ugly sometimes, even if I have constantly said that the world around me that I am beautiful”.
She advises her daughter that “beauty standards will change throughout your life, so does not have too much value for the company today.”
“Remember that your scars, wrinkles, eyes, lips, your hands, feet, your hair, your skin is all here as witnesses to your good life. They are there to age with you and transport you through the ups and downs. They are your friends for life,” she writes.
Dear girl presents parents’ letters to their children in which they transmit the advice and life lessons that matter to them
Born in Pudicherry, India, French parents, Kalki describes herself as a “geek introvert” while growing up. As a teenager, she says, she was uncomfortable with her appearance, and the pursuit of a career on the camera only intensified these feelings.
“Become a celebrity, have your face there and be in front of the camera … There is another layer of self-awareness that comes into play.”
Working in the film industry, she says that she has undergone special pressure to maintain a young appearance. Once, she said, a producer even suggested during lunch that she obtains skin loads for her wrinkles.
“He said:” Everything you need is a small filling for your laughs. “I smiled and said,” Well, I would better stop smiling so much. “So I think that my approach was to face humor.”
Kalki says it happened when she was in his thirties and “had already lived enough life so as not to be assigned”.
“But I know that 20 -year -olds are informed that and they feel the pressure to go and change their faces very early.”
Kalki says that she believes that this pressure is aggravated by the rise in social media. “We all examine (ourselves) and we all have these filters.” And in her letter, she shares her fears of trying to protect her daughter from such a meticulous examination.
She jokes saying that she even wondered about the move to Australia when she heard of the country’s plans to ban smartphones for those under 16. “This is how my mother-end works!”
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Kalki says that working in the film industry is putting particular pressure to maintain a young appearance
Kalki is not the only celebrity to speak of the pressure of appearing young who is confronted by women in the eyes of the public.
Stranger actor Things Millie Bobby Brown made the headlines earlier this month for calling journalists who criticized the way she has aged.
“The fact that adult writers spend their time dissecting my face, my body, my choices are disturbing,” said the 21 -year -old woman in a three -minute video on her Instagram page.
Dear Podcast Girl is an original idea of Namulanta Kombo, a mother of Nairobi in a quest to create a “life manual” for her daughter, through the advice of parents around the world.
Each episode has an invited to read a letter they have written to their children, or to their future children, or to the children they have never had, with the advice, the life lessons and the personal stories they wish to transmit.
In one of the episodes of the current season, the actor of Bridgerton Adjoa Andoh tells his three children to trust their instinct. In another, the documentary presenter of fauna Rae Wynn-Grant offers advice on how to survive the self-chip and meetings with bears.
Kalki letter
Dear girl,
One day after school, you told me: “Mom, I’m not pretty.” You were only four years old. I panicked and immediately replied: “What do you mean, of course you are pretty, you are as pretty as a butterfly, as brilliant as the sun. ” And you continued to say with anger:” I am not, I am not. “”
Retrospectively, I would have liked to have listened to you and be curious enough to ask yourself why you didn’t feel pretty? You see that I also make mistakes, my own insecurities and that you need to protect yourself have taken over and I have not allowed you to feel what you feel. Do not let others decide who you are. Not even me. You have much more experience in being you than anyone. And no one else can be a better you than you.
Fortunately, I receive a second chance to be a better mother, and when a few weeks later, you said “I don’t like myself”, I stopped my impetus to tell you what you were and listened to. There was a little silence, then you opened how you had trouble with other children at school.
I thought about how to make sure you know that beauty is not deep. The truth is that sometimes you will feel ugly. I sometimes feel ugly even if the world that constantly surrounds me that I am beautiful. And then now, I have made it a duty to tell you how beautiful you are, not when you feel bad in your appearance, and not when you are the best, but when you are the best versions of you.
As I get older, I know that you will not always believe that you are beautiful because we live in a social world which has distorted beauty, which made us think of the beauty of thought is a certain size, a certain color or a certain form. These beauty standards will change throughout your life, so will not hold too much value for what the company is currently considering beautiful.
Remember that you are whole and that if you start to separate your little nose or your hairy eyebrows or that you are not entirely in the ears, you will start to feel ugly, but it is only because you forget everything. An elephant is a beautiful animal, but separate it and it has a long wrinkled nose and a strange side throwing eyes, huge ears and a big fat.
Remember that your scars, wrinkles, eyes, lips, your hands, your feet, your hair, your skin are all here as witnesses to your good life, they are there to age with you and transport you through the ups and downs, it’s your friends for life.
Dear girl, do you know when I’m going to stop loving you? Never.
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