I moved to Thailand to teach English the day after I turned 24. I quickly realised that my native London wasn't for me and wanted to build a life outside the UK.
My next place of residence was Seoul for two years, then Hong Kong for ten years, which was the only place I ever truly felt like home, so I got my career back on track and left teaching, as it was never part of my career plans, just a means to an end to live abroad.
I landed my dream job as Food & Drink Editor at Time Out Hong Kong, fell in love with the Asian cocktail scene, and the Hong Kong bartending community felt like my tribe – finally, I'd found where I truly fit in.
I focused on my books and bartending.
I'd worked in hospitality on and off since I was 14, including a stint as a cook in a London diner, but decided it was time to return to bartending.
I then became Editor-in-Chief of DRiNK Magazine Asia while also bartending at The Old Man Hong Kong. My team and I travelled to organise pop-ups, which got me even more involved in the Asian cocktail world. The Old Man won first place in Asia's 50 Best Bars in 2019, and it opened my eyes to this fascinating world.
I eventually quit the bar to focus on writing and published my first book, Cocktails of Asia, a love letter to the bar scene that made me feel so at home. The book caught the eye of my current business partner, who recently took me to Japan to help him open a bar in Tokyo called Tokyo Confidential. My partner is a private person and doesn't want to reveal his name.
My husband and I were hesitant to move to Japan.
It was a hard decision. One of the hardest decisions I've ever made. I had built a beautiful home in Hong Kong and had formed a close-knit community of friends. I knew it wouldn't be the same anywhere else, especially in a place as geographically vast as Tokyo.
But I had to ask myself: What was I really doing? I was feeling a bit stretched in my role as an editor, and my husband, the co-founder of Tokyo Confidential, wasn't happy in his job.
My parents always said how brave I was to move to a foreign country. They barely traveled at all, so how could they know? Bravery never occurred to me, but they were right. You're braver when you're younger. We were in our mid-30s and were nervous about change, but we knew if we were going to do this we had to put in the effort.
The author first visited Japan in 2012. Holly Graham
When I was younger, moving was easy.
I thought I knew Japan pretty well, having traveled there about a dozen times in the past decade. Before moving to Thailand and Korea, I had never been to Japan, but I managed to get by just fine, probably because my innate ability to adapt anywhere was stronger in my 20s.
It quickly became clear that living in Tokyo is a very different world, being a cocktail bar owner is a very different world, being a woman is a very different world.
Don't get me wrong, life in Thailand was tough. After arriving I was left in a parking lot with a hot dog and a bowl of rice for 3 hours wondering what on earth I had done. In Seoul, I would have had very little experience if I hadn't learned the language quickly. But like I said before, maybe it was different when I was younger. Now it just felt like there was more danger involved.
Moving and starting a new job was stressful.
Moving to another country and running an entirely new business was even more difficult, and that, combined with the tremendous amount of bureaucracy running through systems and technology firmly rooted in the 1990s, made the move to Japan difficult.
There is only one bank that foreigners can apply to, and there are many hurdles to overcome, such as having to queue for hours at the ward office to register as a resident or change your address. This is possible because it was only a few months ago that the government announced that it would stop using floppy disks.
The language barrier is different when you actually live here rather than fumbling around as a tourist, and the pressure to get things done is also different with a team of young, enthusiastic bartenders relying on you for guidance.
Graham and the team at Tokyo Confidential. Holly Graham
Life in Japan has never been easy.
But in a way, that's the best part about it. We're here to add something new to the bar scene. There are so many great things about life here that outweigh the challenges. That being said, I live for the challenges.
People have been really supportive of me trying to learn Japanese and are very aware of how hard it is to live here. The local and international response to our craft cocktail bar, Tokyo Confidential, has also been amazing, especially after so many people told me it wouldn't work.
Our guests' faces light up when they walk in and experience our drinks and hospitality. Just a few months after opening, we were ranked 53rd in Asia's 50 Best Bars 2024 Expanded List and named one of the Top 10 Best New International Cocktail Bars in the Tales of the Cocktail Spirit Awards 2024.
Although it has only been open for less than a year, I am so grateful to call Japan home.
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