(Michael Hogue)
Even if your kids aren't in school yet, you know the first day is fast approaching: Bus drivers are practicing their routes, school supplies are lining the aisles and corners of grocery stores, and a look of dismay is on many parents' faces as they run out of ideas for keeping their kids entertained.
This means that whether we are parents, educators, or bystanders, it is time for all of us to renew our responsibility to the children around us.
I liken the role of adults to that of a lighthouse: a steady presence in the storm, a beacon of light in the darkness, a steady force no matter how big the waves or how strong the winds. Our children need all the lighthouses we can muster.
Last year, the U.S. Surgeon General released a report on social media and youth mental health, saying, “There are ample indicators that social media poses risks of significant harm to the mental health and well-being of children and adolescents.” Social psychologist Jonathan Haidt's book, The Anxious Generation: How the Rise of Social Media is Driving an Epidemic of Mental Illness, details how today's young people are more anxious than ever before. Haidt writes that this phenomenon is created by the shift from a play-based childhood to a phone-based one.
opinion
Now more than ever, kids need to rely on adults for guidance. The start of the new school year can be an especially challenging time for kids as they have to piece together new material, adjust to new teachers with different expectations, and adjust to a dynamic social environment. When kids and teens leave school each day, they need the reassurance of an adult who will listen, enforce boundaries, and keep them calm as they face the storms of the day.
They need a lighthouse.
In July, I attended the Eagle Court of Honor for Suhasani, a young woman I first met in the hallways of the middle school where I taught for seven years. Last year, I supported her Eagle Scout project and was proud to be in the crowd celebrating her achievement as she achieved the highest rank in the Boy Scouts of America (soon to be known as Scouting America). The ceremony not only recognizes one Scout, but also the roles of leaders, volunteers, and other Scouts involved in the process.
There was a standing-room only crowd cheering on Suhasani and her Path to Eagle: parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and volunteers who teach merit classes, hold rank meetings, organize camps and offer conflict resolution advice — all of them cheering on their kids and making room for many more.
Suhasini worked hard to get a place before class 10 and achieved it with the guidance of many lighthouses.
A week later, I spent the night at the home of 18-year-old twins Aswin and Aparna, whom I taught in the fourth grade and who will attend Ohio State and Texas A&M this month. They were surrounded by devoted parents, close friends, and other adults who loved them, provided them with comfort, and offered them steadfast guidance.
Before dinner began, we gathered in the family living room, where the mothers gave thanks for the village blessings showered on their children. We then prayed for Aswin and Aparna, giving them a blessing on their next steps. We hope that when they leave home and are burdened with classes, relationships and homesickness, they will remember not only the party, but all of the light and love that has been showered on them over the years.
Not everyone has the time to volunteer with a group or tutor a student, but most of us have time to chat with our neighbors as we walk to school in the morning or play outside in the evening, or with young people who attend our place of worship or families who need a little extra encouragement.
We can meet our kids where they are – sending them encouraging messages, quick notes to let them know how they are doing, or sharing funny videos to lift their spirits – our kids need all the light we can muster for their first day of school and the days ahead.
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