Megha Mohan
BBC World Service Gender and Identity Correspondent
Chithra Jeyaram / BBC
Srija, (l) who fought to have her marriage to Arun (C) legally recognized, says that everything she achieved was made possible by her mother, Valli (R)
In 2019, Srija became the first transgender woman to marry legally in the Indian State of Tamil Nadu after a historical court decision. Now a new documentary, Amma d’Amma, says the battle of Srija for the recognition of the state of her marriage and the unwavering support of her mother, Valli.
“Srija is a gift,” said Valli, 45, at the BBC when she and her daughter kiss.
“I know that all trans people do not have what I have,” adds Srija, 25, from the Port City of Thoothukudi.
“My education, my work, my marriage – everything was possible because of my mother’s support.”
She and her mother share their story for the first time in the pride of Amma (Pride’s Pride), who follows Srija’s unique experience.
Arun Kumar / BBC
The first legally recorded marriage of Tamil Nadu between a trans woman and a non-trans
‘I will always stay next to my daughter’
Srija met her future husband, Arun, in a temple in 2017. After learning, they shared common friends, they quickly started sending SMS regularly. She was already as a transgender and had started her transition.
“We talked a lot. She told me about her experiences as a trans woman,” said Arun at the BBC.
In a few months, they fell in love and decided that they wanted to spend their lives together.
“We wanted legal recognition because we want a normal life like all other couples,” said Srija. “We want all the protections that come from legal recognition of marriage.”
This includes titles, such as the transfer of money or property if a spouse dies.
In 2014, the Indian Supreme Court established certain protections for transgender persons, granting them equal rights to education, employment, health care and marriage – although India still does not allow homosexual marriages.
We do not know how many trans couples have married in India, nor who was the first. Activists say that there was at least one legally registered marriage in front of Srija and Arun – in 2018, a couple married Bangalore.
“Of course, there are queer couples, or transgender couples, everywhere in India”, explains the director of the pride of Amma, Shiva Krish, but because of continuous discrimination “several are secret of their relationship. Srija and Arun and Valli, are unique in the choice of living their daily life at the opening.”
Srija and Arun’s attempt to record their 2018 marriage has been rejected, the registrar arguing that the 1955 Hindu marriage law defined marriage as a union between a “bride” and a “married”, which therefore excluded trans women.
But the couple, supported by LGBT activists, rejected, bringing their relationship in the public domain. The effort was worth it.
They received global attention in 2019 when the High Court of Madras de Chennai supported their right to marry, declaring that transgender persons should be recognized as a “married” or “married” as defined by the Hindu Marriage Act in 1955.
The decision was considered by LGBT activists as a central stage in the acceptance of transgender people in India, Srija and Arun both are content locally for difficult cultural standards.
But the media coverage also invited a negative examination.
“The day after the coverage of local news, I was dismissed from my work,” said Arun, who worked as a manual worker in the transport sector. He thinks it was due to transphobia.
Online lagglers has followed.
“People have sent abusive messages to me to be married to a transgender woman,” he said.
The couple have briefly separated under the strain.
Despite this, Srija excelled in his education, coming frequently first in class to high school.
She followed a diploma in English literature from a university at Tamil Nadu, becoming one of the only people in her family to receive higher education.
It was a source of pride for Valli, who left the 14 -year -old school.
Arun Kumar / BBC
Valli, who works in school cuisine, has sold some of her jewelry to help pay the reassignment of Srija genus
Even before fighting so that her marriage was recognized by the state, Srija and her family faced hostility and ill -treatment.
After Srija left as a transgender woman at the age of 17, she and her mother and her young brother, China, were expelled from their home by their owner.
Several family members have stopped talking to them.
But Srija’s mother and brother were firmly in their support.
“I will always stay next to my daughter,” explains Valli.
“All trans people must be supported by their families.”
Valli, who became single -parent when her husband died when Srija was only six years old, worked in a kitchen in a school.
But despite a modest income, she helped pay the reallowing of her daughter’s gender, partly selling some of her jewelry and taking care later.
“She takes good care of me,” said Srija.
“ Hopefully mentalities will change ”
It is believed that there would be around two million transgender people in India, the most populous country in the world, although activists say that the number is higher.
While the country has adopted trans-inclusive legislation and recognized in law a “third sex”, stigmatization and discrimination remain.
Studies have revealed that transgender people in India are faced with high levels of abuse, mental health problems and limited access to education, employment and health care. Many are forced to beg or participate in sex work.
Globally, the UN says that a significant number of transgender people are faced with the rejection of their family.
“Not many trans people in India, or even around the world, have the support of their families,” said the filmmaker, Shiva Krish.
“The story of Srija and Valli is unique.”
Srija says that she hopes that the film will help challenge stereotypes on trans people and types of stories that are often promoted in the media on the group – especially those focusing on trauma and abuse.
“This documentary shows that we can be leaders. I am a manager, a productive member of the workforce,” explains Srija.
“When people see new types of stories about trans people, I hope that their mentalities are also changing.”
‘I would like to become a grandmother soon’
After being presented at international film festivals, Amma’s pride was shown during a special projection in Chennai, for members of the LGBT community and the Allies, to mark the international day of time transport visibility on Monday, March 31.
After Chennai’s screening, a workshop took place where participants in small groups discussed the acceptance of the family and community support for Trans.
“We hope that our screening events will promote the links between trans individuals, their families and local communities,” adds Chithra Jeyaram, another of the filmmakers of the pride of Amma.
The production team for the pride of AMMA hopes that universal themes of family support in the face of stigma means that the documentary and the workshops can be deployed to the rural public, as well as other cities in India, and neighboring countries such as Nepal and Bangladesh.
As for Srija and Arun, they now work as managers for private companies and hope to adopt a child soon. “We hope for a normal future,” says Srija.
“I would soon become a grandmother,” adds Valli smiling.
