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Su Min captivated the curiosity and admiration of millions of Chinese women with her video diaries
Su Min, a sixty-year-old Chinese grandmother, had no intention of becoming a feminist icon.
She was only trying to escape her abusive husband when she hit the road in 2020 in her white Volkswagen hatchback with a tent on the roof and her pension.
“I felt like I could finally catch my breath,” she says, remembering the moment she left her old life. “I felt like I could survive and find the lifestyle I wanted.”
Over the next four years and 180,000 miles, the video diaries she shared about her adventures, while detailing decades of pain, earned her millions of cheerleaders online. They nicknamed her the “road traveling aunt” because she inadvertently transformed herself into a hero for women who felt trapped in their own lives.
Her story is now a hit film released in September – Like a Rolling Stone – and she is on the BBC’s list of 100 Inspiring and Influential Women of 2024.
It’s been a year of great moments, but if she had to describe what 2024 means to her in one word, that word would be “freedom.”
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Su Min’s all-new SUV is her third car in four years on the road
As soon as Su Min started driving, she felt freer, she told the BBC over the phone from Shenyang – just before heading south for the winter in her new SUV with a caravan .
But it wasn’t until 2024, when she finally filed for divorce, that she experienced “a different kind of freedom.”
It took a long time to get there: it’s a complicated process in China and her husband refused to divorce her until she agreed to pay him. They agreed on 160,000 yuan ($21,900; £17,400), but she is still waiting for the divorce certificate.
But she is determined not to look back: “I’m saying goodbye.”
The path to freedom
In her new life on the road, Su Min’s duty is to herself.
Her videos mostly feature only her. Even though she drives alone, she never seems alone. She chats with her followers as she films her trip, sharing what she cooked, how she spent the previous day, and where she’s going next.
Her audiences travel with her to places they never thought they would: the snow-capped mountains of Xinjiang, the ancient river towns of Yunnan, the sparkling blue lakes, the vast grasslands, the endless deserts.
They applaud her courage and envy the freedom she has embraced. They had rarely heard such a raw account of the reality of life as a “Chinese aunt”.
“You are so brave! You chose to break free,” one follower wrote, while another urged her to “live the rest of your life well for yourself!” One woman asked for advice because she too “dreams of driving alone” and one amazed follower said: “Mom, look at her!” When I grow up, I will live a colorful life like hers if I don’t get married! “
For some, the conclusions are more pragmatic but inspiring: “After watching your videos, I learned this: as women, we must own our own home, maintain friendships all over the world, work hard to be financially independent and invest in unemployment insurance!”
Through it all, Su Min deals with her own past. A stray cat she meets on the road reminds her of herself, both having “withstood the wind and rain for years but still managing to love this world that dusts our faces.” A visit to the market, where she smells chili, evokes “the smell of freedom” because throughout her marriage, spicy food was forbidden by her husband who did not like it.
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Su Min in traditional attire during her visit to her native province, Henan, in January 2024
For years, Su Min was a devoted daughter, wife and mother – even though her husband repeatedly hit her.
“I was a traditional woman and I wanted to stay married for the rest of my life,” she says. “But eventually I realized I had nothing in return for all my energy and effort – only beatings, violence, emotional abuse and gaslighting.”
Her husband, Du Zhoucheng, admitted to hitting her. “It’s my mistake for beating you,” she said in a video she recently shared on Douyin, the Chinese TikTok platform.
A high school graduate, he held a government position in the Ministry of Water Resources for 40 years before retiring, according to local media. He told a media outlet in 2022 that he beat his wife because she “talked back” and that it was “an ordinary thing”: “In a family, how can there not be beatings and beatings? accidents?
When duty called
Su Min married Du Zhoucheng “really to avoid my father’s control and to avoid the whole family.”
She was born and raised in Tibet until 1982, when her family moved to Henan, a bustling province located in the Yellow River Valley. She had just finished high school and found work in a fertilizer factory, where most of her female colleagues, including those under 20, already had husbands.
Her marriage was arranged by a matchmaker, which was common at the time. She had spent much of her life cooking and caring for her father and three younger brothers. “I wanted to change my life,” she says.
The couple only met twice before marriage. She wasn’t looking for love, but she hoped that love would grow once they got married.
Su Min hasn’t found love. But she had a daughter, and that was one of the reasons she convinced herself she had to endure the abuse.
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Su Min learned to surf in the waters off Hainan in February 2021
“We are always very afraid of being ridiculed and blamed if we divorce, so we all choose to endure, but in fact, this kind of patience is not right,” she says. “I later learned that in fact, it can have a huge impact on children. The child really doesn’t want you to endure, he wants you to stand up courageously and provide him with a harmonious home.”
She thought about leaving her husband after her daughter’s marriage, but she quickly became a grandmother. Her daughter had twins – and once again, duty called. She felt she needed to help care for them, even though she had now been diagnosed with depression.
“I felt like if I didn’t leave, I would get sicker,” she says. She promised her daughter that she would take care of the two boys until they entered kindergarten, and then she would leave.
The spark of inspiration for his escape came in 2019 while browsing social media. She found a video of someone traveling while living in their van. This was it, she thought. It was his way out.
Even the pandemic didn’t stop her. In September 2020, she left her marital home in Zhengzhou and barely looked back as she crossed 20 Chinese provinces and more than 400 cities.
It’s a move that has certainly resonated with women in China. To her millions of followers, Su Min offers comfort and hope. “We women are not just someone’s wife or mother… Let’s live for ourselves!” one follower wrote.
Many of them are mothers who share their own struggles. They tell him they, too, feel trapped in stifling marriages — some say his stories have inspired them to end abusive relationships.
“You are a hero to thousands of women and many now see the possibility of a better life because of you,” read one of the top comments on one of her most-viewed videos.
“When I’m 60, I hope I can be as free as you,” another comment said.
A third woman asks, “Aunt Su, can I travel with you?” I will cover all expenses. I just want to take a trip with you. I feel so trapped and depressed in my current life.
‘Love yourself’
“Can you have the life of your dreams?” Su Min thought about the call. “I want to tell you that no matter how old you are, as long as you work hard, you will definitely find your answer. Just like me, even though I am 60 years old now, I found what I was looking for.”
She admits it wasn’t easy and she had to live frugally on her pension. She thought video blogs could help raise money – she didn’t think they would go viral.
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Su Min’s stories have touched millions of Chinese women who feel trapped in their own lives.
She talks about what she’s learned over the years and her latest challenge: finalizing the divorce.
“I have not yet received my divorce certificate, because the law provides for a reflection period and we are now within this period.”
One of her followers wrote that the money she paid her husband was “worth every penny”, adding: “Now it’s your turn to experience the world and live a vibrant, no-holds-barred life . Congratulations, aunt – here’s to a colorful and fulfilling future! “
She says it is difficult to divorce because “many of our laws in China are aimed at protecting the family. Often, women do not dare to divorce because of family discord.”
At first, she thought Du Zhoucheng’s behavior might improve with time and distance, but she said he always threw “pots and pans” at her when he returned.
He has only called her twice in recent years – once because her motorway pass was linked to his credit card and he wanted her to give him back 81 yuan (£0.90 ). She says she hasn’t used the card since.
Undeterred by the delay in obtaining a divorce, Su Min continues to plan more trips and hopes to one day travel abroad.
She fears overcoming language barriers, but is confident her story will resonate around the world, as it did in China.
“Although women are different in every country, I would like to say that no matter what environment you are in, you must be good to yourself. Learn to love yourself, because only when you love that the world can be full of sunshine.”
Additional reporting by Fan Wang in Singapore
