Vilma Larsson
Stay-at-home girlfriend Vilma Larsson gets spending money from boyfriend
Sweden has a global reputation for championing gender equality, so why are young women adopting a social media trend that celebrates stopping work?
Vilma Larsson, 25, previously worked in a grocery store, a retirement home and a factory. But she quit her job a year ago to become a stay-at-home girlfriend and says she has never been happier.
“My life is sweeter. I don't struggle. I'm not very stressed.
Her boyfriend works remotely in finance, and while he spends his days on his laptop, she's at the gym, having coffee, or cooking. The couple grew up in small towns in central Sweden, but now travel widely and spend the winter in Cyprus.
“Every month he gives me a salary from the money he earned. But if I need more, I'll ask him. Or if I need less, I don’t need it, I just keep the rest,” says Larsson.
She shares her lifestyle on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, where she has 11,000 subscribers. Some of her posts have received almost 400,000 likes, although she claims to not make any money from her content.
She uses the hashtags “hemmaflickvän” and “hemmafru” (Swedish for housewife and housewife) and describes herself as a “sweet girl” – an identity that embraces a gentler, more feminine lifestyle rather than focus on a gentler, more feminine lifestyle. career.
The soft girl lifestyle has been a microtrend on social media in different parts of the world since the late 2010s. But in Sweden – after five decades of policies aimed at promoting dual-income households – the concept's recent popularity has sparked both surprise and division.
Ungdomsbarometern – Sweden's largest annual survey of young people – first brought national attention to Swedes who adopted the sweet girl trend a year ago, after it became a popular choice when 15-24 year olds were asked to predict trends for 2024.
Another study published by Ungdomsbaromatern last August suggested that it was even becoming an aspiration among young schoolgirls, with 14% of schoolgirls aged 7 to 14 identifying as soft girls.
Vilma Larsson
Vilma says she noticed that her mother, sister and grandmother were all stressed about having to work
“It’s about moving away from this ideal of the ‘girl boss’ that we’ve known for many years, where the demands for success are very, very high in all aspects of life,” explains Johanna Göransson, a researcher at Ungdomsbarometern.
There is no official data on the number of young “sweet girls” who quit their jobs altogether and live off their partners like Ms Larsson, and Ms Göransson believes the proportion is probably low.
But it has nonetheless become a major talking point in Sweden, from opinion pieces in mainstream newspapers to roundtable discussions in Almedalen – a huge annual multi-party political event – and on Swedish public television.
Gudrun Schyman – co-founder and former leader of the Swedish feminist party Feministiskt initiativ – says she participated in recent debates on the issue. She believes that women living off their partner's wealth are “very dangerous” and “a step backwards” for gender equality.
Schyman says young Swedes have been influenced by the country's right-wing coalition government, which collaborates with the nationalist Sweden Democrats, as well as the “broader development” of populism in Europe and the United States.
She also thinks there is a lack of awareness about what life was like in Sweden before the country adopted policies intended to promote gender equality, such as heavily subsidized childcare and shared parental leave. . “Young women today do not carry the history of how women had to fight for their rights – the right to work, the right to a salary and the right to economic independence. »
Maddy Savage
Johanna Göransson says some Swedish women want to escape pressure to succeed at work
On the other end of the political spectrum, the Sweden Democrats party has been positive about the soft girl trend.
“I think people should be able to decide their own lives,” says Denice Westerberg, national spokeswoman for the party's youth wing. “And if you have the economic opportunity to do that (live off a partner), then good for you.
“We still live in a country with all the opportunities to make a career. We still have all the rights, but we have the right to choose to live in a more traditional way.
Besides ideological debates, discussions focused on the social and cultural factors that might encourage young women to leave their jobs – or at least aspire to a gentler lifestyle.
Sweden is known for its work-life balance: most employees receive six weeks of vacation per year and less than 1% work more than 50 hours per week.
Yet research from Ungdomsbaromatern suggests increasing stress levels among young people, and Ms Göransson believes the meek girl trend could be an extension of recent global work trends, such as “silent resignation”, which encourages employees not to overextend themselves.
Meanwhile, the Generation Z age group (the cohort born between 1997 and 2012) creates and is influenced by social media content that celebrates hobbies rather than career goals.
“Work isn't really emphasized if you look at lifestyle content on social media today, it's much more about exercise and well-being,” says Ms. Göransson . “And if that's the image young people have of what a normal life looks like, then, of course, you might not be so keen on spending eight hours a day at the office .”
But perhaps the biggest point of discussion is whether this trend is a response to the limitations of Sweden's pioneering gender equality policies.
Along with Slovenia, Sweden has the highest proportion of working mothers in Europe, but government statistics suggest that women in heterosexual couples still take on a greater share of household chores and childcare than men.
They also take 70% of state-funded parental leave and are more likely to take sick leave due to stress. At the same time, although the gender income gap remains below the EU average of 12.7%, it has stagnated at around 10% since 2019.
Ms Larsson – who wants to have children in the future – says her decision to become a stay-at-home girlfriend is partly because older women struggle to balance career and family life.
“I think a lot of women feel burned out by their work,” she says. “And I just think of my mother and her mother, my grandmother and my sister, everyone. They are always very stressed.
Peter Wickström, head of the policy analysis and monitoring department at the state-funded Swedish Gender Equality Agency, also believes that the meek girl trend can be seen as a “rational reaction” to “requirements” perceived by young women.
Shoka Åhrman, an economist at one of Sweden's largest pension funds, SPP, believes that not enough Swedish girlfriends or wives will leave their jobs for it to have an impact on the country's economy.
However, she is working to raise awareness among Swedish women that leaving the workforce (as well as working part-time) could impact their personal finances, from savings and retirement to salary levels if they return to work.
Ms Åhrman hopes the current debates over soft girls will serve as a wake-up call to politicians and businesses that there is still work to be done to address Sweden's persistent structural inequalities.
“I think the source of this problem, which is mental health issues and burnout and everything else, is what's most concerning because it's not just affecting the few young girls today today who want to stay at home as sweet girls,” she says.
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